♦Welcome to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop!♦
Topic #150
When was the last time you did something for the first time?
Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.
The last time I did something for the first time…now let me think, because a lot of what I am doing as a mom is completely new. You see, I’m a new, first time mother. It’s hard, however, to think of anything in particular as being the first time. Honestly, it feels very much like I’ve done all this before. Perhaps having raised dogs and helped out with a few cousins makes it seem so. Therefore, and because it’s too easy to use, I think I’d rather identify something else.
The time I did something for the first time was when I drove about an hour and a half south of where I live to meet up with a transport that had Fionn on board. He was coming to me from Tennessee. Yes, I met a transport for Sadie, but it was only about 40 minutes from where I lived. I’ve never driven that far from home (without my parents and it being a family vacation) before. It felt strange, and a little unsettling. I have anxiety, so worrying about something going wrong was always at the fore of my mind. Of course, I got a bit lost due to the GPS sending me in the opposite direction. Thankfully, Fionn’s transport was late.
Also a first was taping the adventure for my readers and posting it to social media as I went. I’ve always found such documentary to be fun on social media. This what people get to see and hear me in real time, and take part in my life for a moment. I consider a lot of folks I interact with online good friends. Although we can’t be together in real life to hang out in real life, online allows for that next best.
Going on a road trip with just my friend (who can’t drive) and taping the pick up extended my experience and skills in ways that ripple through my work. You’ll find that I’m a lot more video and image heavy since that day in July. It’s freed me up from my anxiety a bit, as well. I like doing the vlog, so I was prepared, and I think the live videos helped me gain further confidence. Maybe eventually I’ll have enough viewers to get some decent video and lighting equipment. In the meantime, I’m making due with my phone.
Getting out and trying new things is part of the author’s work. It’s how we grow and find more to write about.
Let’s hop on over to see what first time thing the other authors will talk about…
The aftermath. A lot of prospective parents going through the IVF process are curious to know what goes on after the process has ended. I can speak to what happens when you have a successful transfer. As far as what happens when the procedures do not work, all I know is that some continue, some turn to adoption, and others stop trying. The reasons of each patient who struggles with infertility is their own.
When I went in to the doctor’s office for my official pregnancy test, I had already started planning what I was going to do for another round of IVF. It included putting away my tax return to afford more donor sperm. And, figuring out how I can scrape together another $2,500 to put down on genetic testing, so I didn’t have a miscarriage from another abnormal embryo. It was how I shielded myself from the resounding sounds of a ticking clock and disappointment.
If you’ve been through this for a year or more, you’ll understand how surreal a positive from a frozen transfer of a normal embryo can feel. Thus, your emotions don’t know where to fall, and you just sit there staring. You wonder, if you should be shouting. Absolutely, you should, but also understand that all the disappointments that came before feed into the fears. Keep in mind, I was positive with a pregnancy at that time the year previous. I lost the pregnancy due to it being a blighted ovum. After three retrievals, I had only one embryo that was genetically viable for transfer, that the doctors WOULD transfer. ONE. And, my little one stuck. Breathless and shocked was how I felt.
So now, you’re balancing your excitement against the fear it will only cheer-lead your disappointment into reality. Then, you don’t tell anyone, and you wait. Each appointment after, you watch the embryo grow, and you hope they have only good things to say. When they release you from the fertility center to go back to your regular obstetrician, you’re thrust into a whole other world. The scans are fewer. And the information about coming child rearing is overwhelming. You’re not even showing yet.
If you don’t cry about the happy news, you’re not bereft of feeling. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Each of us faces life changing news in our life differently. That’s because each of us experiences life differently.
Things you have to look forward to when you get the positive and the pregnancy continues to 24 weeks and beyond: setting up the nursery, picking names, feeling the baby move, realizing you’ve accomplished your goal of having a child, planning your maternity leave, learning about breast and bottle, dealing with all that well-meaning advice and the not so well-meaning snipes…
Where do I start? I finally announced a couple months ago on the blog that I am expecting. The nerves can’t handle the stress of thinking that speaking the truth aloud will somehow make something go wrong. Maybe it did? I was diagnosed with placenta previa, very common for women in my age group and even more so for those who undergo IVF (In Vitro Fertilization). The condition is pretty much what it sounds like (Latin). The placenta is first. It can cause bleeding and early birth, severe enough to threaten the life of mother and child. So, I’ve had to take it easy. All those ideas of walking and exercising are out the door. At least, at 28 weeks (when I wrote this article) it’s now posterior located, though still complete. It could still move and allow me to carry to term and have a vaginal birth.
The surrealism of the moment no doubt arises in the turmoil of getting ready. There’s no time to truly prepare, while you’re trying to figure out what you need to do—and work, eat and sleep. Experienced parents would tell the first timer, get used to it. That’s how things roll from here out, at least until the empty nest.