***Trigger Warning — Sexual Assault***
A friend posted this several days ago, and I immediately shared it. I commented on his post: I think about this all the time. I’m not at all exaggerating. Kesha isn’t an artist that I own a huge catalog from, and in a way, I’m actually glad that I don’t. I’d be even sicker that I am supporting a company that wants to keep a woman the victim of her abuser, in order to make money from her. The continuing victimization of Kesha is every sexual assault victim’s nightmare. Despite her high profile, she too is at the mercy of a patriarchy that deems women less than human—there for consumption. And, Kesha is being consumed. I think about this all the time, ever since it was brought to our attention.
Back when Chris Brown beat the hell out of Rihanna, I stopped buying his work. I was pissed I had anything with his name on it. I am constantly disgusted to find that an artist I support is a monster, like Bill Cosby. To this day, I second guess any i-Tunes purchase that has Brown’s name on it in any way. Rihanna, however, came back fierce as fuck. No one is messing with her. I’m not quite sure how she managed to achieve that. Many victims of violence are drummed out of the public eye, or looked at differently from then on. Tina Turner is the only other female artist that I know of who survived horrible abuse at the hands of her partner and producer and came out the other side an inspiration to all. The rest either hide their story, or are obscured by this veil that falls over them because of talking about it (you know what I mean, that invisible muzzle that is strapped onto our heads to keep things status quo).
I hope that one day, Kesha’s story will be the same. You see, it doesn’t matter who you are. Domestic Violence and rape can affect anyone. It doesn’t even matter your gender. Money doesn’t make you safe, because the perpetrators of rape and abuse are always one of those people who have access to you, and usually have some form of power over. In Kesha’s case, it is her SONY producer, AND the company itself. Yes, indeed, SONY is just as guilty. They’ve ignored Kesha’s reports, and requests and pushed her forward, allowing the abuse to continue because of profits. And her fame is not an excuse that makes her abuse all right–I have, in fact, seen men and women say that this is price you pay for fame. She should be happy and shut up. Seriously? *Puke* Would you say that to yourself or someone you love if you were in her shoes? Stop being an ass hole. It’s very easy to dismiss the suffering of another when it doesn’t seemingly touch your life.
The only place a victim has to turn for justice is the legal system. Unfortunately, as high and might as the legal system regards itself, it is still framed by the mores of our society. Do you ever wonder why more women don’t reach out to the legal system to get help? Why rapes go unreported?
“Being put through the legal and emotional wringer doesn’t guarantee justice.”
I’ve been watching Kesha’s case, right along with friends, family and fans. I watch as a survivor. We never feel entirely safe to begin with as women, but when something actually happens to you, you will never feel entirely safe again. That is not possible anymore. Time doesn’t erase the experience. There is no magical rite of passage through which we pass and it makes everything as it was. So, the survivor’s natural reaction is to want to help another survivor, because we’ve been there, are there. Look at this picture above, and see the solidarity expressed (hand holding, poster, fans shouting support). But, also, some man is reaching for her, as if he has a right to lay hands on her. Sure, he might be an adoring fan or journalist just trying to get her attention, but this is photo evidence of the exact problem with our society: women are considered commodities. The legal system backed that up with their ruling on Kesha’s case. This isn’t the first time she’s faced this ruling. She was appealing a previous decision. Worse, this time the judge was a woman. One would have hoped that someone who has lived as the unequivocally most victimized gender in all studies on the topic would have shown some empathy. Nope. Not a blip of it. There, I truly hope, is a special place in hell for women who hurt other women—just as I hope there is a special place in hell for people who hurt other people. What a willful judgement. I want to cry for Kesha. I think of my terrorized feelings when horrible things had happened to me, and the idea of having to face the perpetrator again and again.
It looked like this (on the inside—because you can’t manifest an emotion that acknowledges the incident outwardly, that leads to a whole ship load of trouble on top of everything else):
Source: Kesha sobs as judge keeps deal with alleged rapist producer – NY Daily News
The judge has ruled that Kesha is the property of SONY and is subject to their abuses, and the abuses of her rapist producer until the contract at least runs its course.
WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT???
I am left wondering what kind of a world we are living in. I mean, I have an inkling when men like Rubio, Trump and Ted are hailed as heroic. Right and left, these issues are falling down the newsfeeds of everyone and no one is doing much of anything about it. In fact, most make repellent accusations about the victim, compounding the abuse (just look at the derisive comments made about the women who came out against Cosby). Others feed on the suffering, delighting, yes delighting, in it. And, then, there are people like me who want to do something to help, but feel utterly helpless from their armchair, or shut down by the gangs of trolls. What can I do? How can I be of more help to Kesha and others in her position?
There are fans (which you will see on the link above) who are trying to picket the court proceedings, and get something done in Kesha’s favor. However, they too are ignored. It seems that a 65k + petition by Change.org has no effect either. SONY doesn’t give a shit. The law gives less of a shit. Lady Gaga speaks out and nothing. How many people have to say something before these two entities give a shit? Why isn’t Gaga doing more? Is there anything someone as powerful as Gaga can do, or Madonna, Rihanna, or someone, anyone else?
This woman was raped. God, I have no idea if it’s still happening. I don’t care if it isn’t because that doesn’t erase what HAS already happened. I feel her terror in my own heart, the terror that this monster will get his mitts on her again and rape her again. It’s terrorizing, debilitating—It should be fucking illegal!!
Why are we just standing by and letting this happen? I read all these Men’s Rights supporters making comments that feminism is deadly to the world, that women deserve to be raped if they’ve been raped. Did I really deserve to be assaulted at three years of age? Or any of the other times I was accosted? Does my age matter? Does my gender? Does what I wear, because I usually wear jeans and t-shirts? Was it my fault my skirts were lifted, exposing my body against my wishes to my classmates by a young man who took it upon himself to do that? That my body was no longer my own to control, and he decided he was going to enact his will upon it? Or was it all my fault I couldn’t guess how to act to make my ex happy because it changed minute to minute? Who the fuck do these people think they are?
The pervasiveness of patriarchy is why this female judge ruled against her gender. Feminism isn’t the problem. Anti-woman hate is! It’s a goddamn music contract versus a human being’s dignity and autonomy. The human rights court should be making a ruling, and that judge should be asked to step down.
I am so sick for Kesha. I want to help. I want to help her and all the other men, women and children out there who are being abused and stifled, forced to suffer at the hands of an abuser because those abusers have the power to make it so.
I know you will never read this, but…Tina left Ike. Rihanna left Chris. You’re gonna leave this behind you one day. Hang in there. This is not a price you pay for stardom. It is not okay. It is not deserved. It should not be expected.
We are watching. There are many around you and they are not going to let it continue. We will get you free. You will get you free.
Sick in My Heart at This Injustice. FREE KESHA.