depression Archives - Page 3 of 3

Gratefulness – Open Book Blog Hop #24

October 20, 2015 By Captain Maiel

♦Welcome to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop!♦

#24• Topic:

Gratitude – What are you grateful for?

This year has been especially tough. My dad’s cancer recurred and my savings is getting chewed up by unexpected and high expenses. My health is suffering for it. That slippery slope to depression is just a tad to the left, or maybe I’ve already started sliding under it. I feel more overwhelmed than ever—more so than when I was in graduate school, working full time, writing the trilogy, maintaining this blog in its early stages, dealing with two months of a UTI with Sadie, and then somehow getting one myself, and the subsequent bill because my doctor used the wrong lab for my insurance plan. Oh, and then there is my car and the monthly maintenance starting a year ago–new brakes on two wheels, routine upkeep, four new tires, new snow tires, and on and on and on. Then, my landlord said, oh, by the way, we’re raising the rent on you to fair market value which is $300 more than you were paying, while you’re barely making ends meet. And everyone—EVERYONE—wants me to give money to something or do something that takes money.

In the middle of all that. I am honestly still grateful. I can easily be a Debbie Downer. This is what my year has been like:

I can’t say I can be grateful for good health. I don’t feel well, mentally or otherwise, to be honest. I can’t say that things are going well in any sector of my professional life. I’ve been on hold pattern for going on twenty years. I can’t say I’m grateful for a lot, but things change on a dime. I hope.

I am grateful that I have a job at all, though the income falls short, I have health benefits, though they fall short.

I am grateful for the closet full of clothes that I have, although, most have holes in them and/or stains, and are going on a decade or so many more in years. I buy new things on the cheap now and they last a few months. It’s expensive to live like this, but the choice is to replace something that has worn or pay the light bill, skip a couple meals…

I am grateful for my dog, though I am constantly concerned that as she ages things are going to get really tough. Do I have enough put away to cover her? I don’t even have enough put away to cover me. But I am grateful for her unyielding affection. I’m only sorry I get very little time with her because of my horrible schedule.

I am grateful to have a day off every other week to try and write. I don’t, literally, have any days off. I am going seven days a week on either errands, chores, work, cooking, maintaining the dog’s needs, and trying to blog and market my books. I no longer have time to write. My attitude is beginning to show that.

I am grateful that I had a savings account to meet this year. But what about this next year coming? Will things get better? So much for the house I was trying to save a down payment for. Even worse was the prospect of what I could afford to buy—it puts new meaning to fixer upper.

I am grateful that I am single, because as I watch family go through the pain of a bad break up, I know I won’t have to do that. It would be nice to have someone to help out, to love and be loved by, but the grass might only appear greener. As a single, I have only me to worry about, and only me to get things done, and only me to bring home an income, and only me to blame at the end of the day when it fails miserably like it has been this year.

But, I’m supposed to be thankful for still having a couple years left to have a kid if any at all, and pay for a donor because that’s not happening. Not holding my breath, like I’m not holding my breath for being able to go on a real vacation again any time soon (haven’t been on one in 15 years). But, I am thankful for my memories of those things I used to have back in the day.

Slowly loosing everything, reaching the bottom, I’m grateful that this too will change. I guess. That’s what they say.

Despite that awful list above, there really is a lot to be grateful for. Yes, almost all of it can be swept from under your feet in a moment. Be grateful more deeply in the moment, trust me, it might be all that keeps you warm one day—those memories. I choose to be grateful despite the bad. So what am I grateful for?

I am grateful for a couple things that don’t have a flip side, which I could get caught up moaning about. For one, I am grateful that I can still be grateful! Many don’t like the ideology of a positive mental attitude or choosing happiness, but as a survivor of depression and a lot of bad stuff, I can say it has worked for me. It’s okay if doesn’t work for someone else, because something that didn’t work for me works for them. I think having various options to try are more important, and someone to be patient enough to have your back as you do find what works for you.

Second, I am grateful that I know how to cook so well. When money is tight and I need to try and whip something together that is palatable and makes me feel some sense of wealth in that I have something to eat still, this skill is priceless. I can mix and match what’s in the pantry and fridge and get creative. This really hones those skills. It builds confidence, too.

And despite the knee-jerk desire to moan about all those things that might come if, there are a million more tiny little things I am grateful for every day. So, I choose to ignore the really crumby stuff this year has given me. After all, Dad is healing, money will come back in, divorces are often a good thing in hindsight, and, any month now, I might get the call from the doctor that my own little one is on the way. Even if those things fall apart, there are too many other things that are there to hold me up. So, don’t get bogged down in the yeah, but what if. Be grateful, even if you’re only grateful the stuff that worries you isn’t actually happening to you, that you get up every morning and that you have the opportunity to embrace the good things that must and will come to you.

Let’s see what other authors are grateful for, but before you go, check out ….Stevie Turner’s Bbooks

Stevie Turner hails from East Anglia, UK, and attributes the countryside of her home with giving her the inspiration to write. She has found her unique voice writing the kind of novels women like to read. To date she has self-published seven books, mainly dealing with the darker side of relationships and always a bit of humor. You can find details of her books on the website:

http://www.stevie-turner-author.co.uk/

Stevie is married, with two sons and three grandchildren. If she isn’t writing or working, then you’ll find her walking around her pretty country village.

Return to Stevie’s Blog.

‘Do you like to read? Wouldn’t you like to know more about your favorite authors? Well you came to the right place! Join the MMB Open Book Blog Hop each Wednesday and they will tell all. Every week we’ll answer questions and after you’ve enjoyed the blog on this site we’ll direct you to another. So come back often for a thrilling ride! Tell your friends and feel free to ask us questions in the comment box.’To join our Open Book Blog Hop – where we share all sorts of things about “life”.

An InLinkz Link-up

get the InLinkz code

<!– end InLinkz script —

Stigma Fighters by Guest Blogger Sarah Fader

February 18, 2015 By Captain Maiel

Stigma Fighters began like a dream. I had an idea. I wanted to create a space where people could speak their truths. I wanted human beings to feel loved. I wanted them to feel like they are not alone.

I told my story about living with panic disorder on The Huffington Post.

Little did I realize the impact it would have on the world. I had people reaching out to me from all over the earth telling me that I had changed their lives. A woman from South America thanked me for having the strength to speak up. She said she wished there was a place where she could share her story. I realized that she was right; there was no place for her to do this.

So I created Stigma Fighters: a blog series where people could share their stories about living with mental illness in one-thousand-word essays.

People began to speak up. And then an amazing thing happened. A woman reached out to me, Yulia Laricheva, the founder of Fund Dreamer, a crowd funding organization operated and owned by women. She told me that she believed in me. She said I could take Stigma Fighters to the next level. “Transform Stigma Fighters into a non-profit organization,” she said.

It was Yulia’s belief in me that pushed me forward. I began to raise the money to file for non-profit status. I formulated a plan. I was going to change the world for people with mental illness.

White Temple, Hands Sculpture, Thailand. Pixabay.com

Then another amazing thing happened. My friend Rachel Thompson, award-winning author of Broken Pieces, social media guru, and my mentor, introduced me to my future business partner. Her name is Allie Burke.

“Sarah, meet Allie,” Rachel said “She is open about living with paranoid schizophrenia.” She then let us talk amongst ourselves.

To be honest, I didn’t know where to start. I’d never met anyone with paranoid schizophrenia. When I began to connect with Allie, I realized that she was many things in addition to her diagnosis. She was funny, brilliant, empathic, hardworking, and kind. She was what was missing in my life and I didn’t know it. She is the author of Paper Souls – a novel about a woman living with paranoid schizophrenia. It is a lovely piece of fiction that draws the reader in and captivates her into this magical (and sometimes disturbing) literary world.

I asked her to write for Stigma Fighters. She wrote a beautiful essay.

At some point in this dream-like existence, Allie and I decided to form a partnership. I have major trust issues. I automatically trusted her. I cannot explain why or how, but I did. I knew that she could be who I needed her to be: the Vice President of Stigma Fighters. And that is who she became, but she is so much more than that.

She is my grounding force. When I feel that my world is crumbling I call her and I ask to remind me that I have feet and they are planted on the ground.

Allie Burke is the reason that Stigma Fighters has become what it has become. I started this organization, and she launched it into a profound entity.

I am 35 years old, and I am the CEO and Founder of Stigma Fighters. Allie is 28 years old, and she is the Vice President of the mental health non-profit organization Stigma Fighters. We are both women. We are both mentally ill. We are going to change the world. Nice to meet you. Submit your story to Stigma Fighters.

Stigma Fighters is an organization dedicated to spreading awareness about mental health issues in high schools and colleges around the United States.

Stigma Fighters began as a blog series where people shared 1000 word essays about living with a variety of mental illnesses. The organization was founded by Psychology Today and Huffington Post Blogger, Sarah Fader. The basis of the program focuses on the invaluable benefits of sharing one’s story. Now, Stigma Fighters is coming off the Internet and into high schools and colleges. Stigma Fighters chapters are being established throughout the United States, Australia, Canada, and The United Kingdom, including the world’s teen and deaf communities.

Choosing to bring Stigma Fighters to a school will allow students a place to safely discuss mental health issues. The organization seeks to empower students’ voices and allow them the opportunity to share their stories with confidence and without fear of being judged.

Contributors to Stigma Fighters include ESPN Journalist Keith Law, Bestselling Author and HuffPost Books Blogger Rachel Thompson, Once Upon a Time Actor Michael Coleman, as well as people from around the world including Australia, The United Kingdom, and Canada.

Stigma Fighters has been featured on Psychology Today, The Huffington Post, Fox New 5 New York and more!

For information about getting Stigma Fighters into your school, please contact us here .
Stigma Fighters can be found on Twitter and Facebook.

Melancholia and the Infinite Sadness : Chopin’s Daring Revelation of Depression in The Awakening

December 26, 2014 By Captain Maiel

Kate Chopin’s novel The Awakening is a daring exploration of the suffering of depression by women when such a diagnosis was just developing. Before the 19^th century, from antiquity into modern times, the common term to define a depressive disorder was melancholia[1] (Boer and Kasper 3-4). This broad term encompassed a number of psychological disorders and, according to Gerit Glas, the debate over “mood disorders” lasted well into the 20^th Century (5,16). Through the character of Edna Pontellier, the novel contains several typical symptoms of the disorder as we recognize it today: sadness or unhappiness, crying spells for no apparent reason, thoughts of death, restlessness, frustration, excessive sleeping or insomnia, slowed thinking and a loss of interest in normal activities (Mayo Clinic).

One of the most common pieces of advice to an author is to write what you know. Chopin may not have directly experienced the dilemma’s experienced by her character Edna , but the author’s past suggests that she had a great deal of insight into the issues contained within the text. Nancy A. Walker discusses these points in her introduction to the novel (3-21). Chopin’s environment in childhood as well as adulthood bred a woman who was ahead of her time. Her mother “told her stories that emphasized the role of strong women in her maternal ancestry” and made sure her daughter was well educated (3). Much like her character Edna, Kate was not in love with the upper middle class society she was part of, nor the limitations it provided young women (5, 35). Also like her character Edna, she married a man that would provide a sensible match and happened to be a mercantile businessman (5, 39-40). Kate lived in New Orleans for several years and experienced greater freedom than most women of her time (7, 11, 23, 87). In her thirties, she was known to be attached to a noted womanizer (11, 42, 119). Walker then comes out and directly states that much of what she experienced ended up in her fiction (7). With much of what she knew, first or second hand, filling up her work, it is highly likely that knowledge of depression (then Melancholia) was within her repertoire.

Continue reading the review at: Melancholia and the Infinite Sadness[2]**: Chopin’s Daring Revelation of Depression in *The Awakening***

[1] Melancholia, the build up of black bile in the system, which gives the sufferer a sense of despondency or mania. Glas, Gerit, “A Conceptual History of Anxiety and Depression,” in Handbook of Depression and Anxiety, , ed. den Boer, Johan A., Kasper, Siegfried, Sitsen, J.M.A., (New York: Marcel Dekker Inc.: 2003)

[2] Melancholia and the Infinite Sadness is a word play on the Smashing Pumpkins 1995 recording “Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness”, oddly enough a piano melody. Corgan, Billy, Byrne, Mike, Fiorentino, Nicole, Schroeder, Jeff, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, Virgin Records US, October 24, 1995, compact disc.