♦Welcome to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop!♦
Topic #476
We’ve talked about our favorite words. Is there a word
you despise? One you refuse to use in your writing?
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In my twenties, to say the word RAW would make me crazy. I have no idea why. The sound of it straight grated on my ears. The connotation of discomfort or uncooked food, or both! It stands for some uncomfortable things. I guess, in my twenties, there was something going on that made the word so abhorrent for me. Today, I can’t even explain that. Thirty years have passed, and the perspective and situations of life are all worn.
There’s a list of words I have heard others say that are uncomfortable for them. Topping that list is moist. So, I internally giggle whenever I hear that, knowing someone is losing their mind like I had over my word back in the day. I understand it, and it makes me smile in solidarity.
If there are any words I avoid in my writing, it is slurs. I don’t say things I wouldn’t say to another person’s face. That is out of respect for my readers and myself. I do not feel any need whatsoever to exercise a right to free speech around abusive language.
Look, It should be well understood that while we have free speech, there is no freedom from the consequences of its use in public spaces. Should you chose to use a harmful slur (and the like), then you deserve everything you have coming to you. If history of social issues taught nothing, you’ll learn that day. In the very least, exercise caution for yourself–self respect and self preservation, if you can’t manage to be respectful of others. You call it freedom, but the rest of us see it as abuse.
There is no need for it. Frankly, only abusive individuals find a need. As such, the usage of these words reflects on the user alone, and all the history that your social capital builds with it (origins, gender, class, and so on). There’s a reason there exists the saying: the pen is mightier than the sword; or, words can hit as hard as fist (if you’ll recall that abuse public service announcement).
In addition, yes, there are words a historical figure would say. So, you’re writing a historical work of fiction. Is it truly necessary to say such, even in dialogue? How many works from those times do we have access to that contain those words? Okay, and how many of those works were written by disreputable individuals for terrible ends? Which were written containing those words seemingly oblivious to their harm? How many did so to bring awareness?
So, following that exercise: awareness and harm have both been wrought in numbers. Do you need to copy this activity with your work? Why do you feel this way? What does it add to the conversation? Is it better that you listen to those who have been harmed by such language in the past, and support them and their ideas about its use? Are you cherry-picking for consensus? Does your self-respect remain unscathed?
Outside of abusive language, at my age, there’s not much vocabulary I won’t use. I quite frequently speak the f-word, the c-word, and so on. That said, I adjust in company. When you respect others, and yourself, you’ll adjust your mouth to match their flow. My mom hears me swear, but my great Aunt does not. Self-censoring is necessary in a multitude of situations between work and life. That’s not dishonesty, or a breach of freedom. It’s, as I said, a show of respect for others and yourself. Much like donning formal wear or casual wear.
Avoiding toxic language in writing is just as situational as life. Is it necessary? Truly, necessary? In one of my writing classes we had a discussion with the instructor on the matter. If this is the character you’re trying to portray, and the language is tightly twined with that characterization, then it makes sense. That said, we all agreed, the consequences of its use still prevail. There will be readers who do not want to read that. There will be others concerned that the word takes any kind of power. And, then there are those who believe it is their agency to reclaim this word and it should not be in use by those outside the group.
If you insist, just be ready for what will come. Understand that your justification is yours, and it likely won’t hold water for many. Is it useful? Necessary? Kind? What are your goals? Why does your perspective require airing? Did similar perspectives already take center stage on this numerous times? Are you opening a wound you have no business picking at? Should you listen more and talk less on the topic?
Whatever your answers are to the above, if you get too emotional in thinking about them, I suggest journaling and coming back to it, but also leaving it out of your writing. You must ask yourself: if I have such a visceral reaction to a request to refrain, why am I having such a visceral reaction to hearing no? You may feel it is your right to do as you please, but then I’d refer you back to situation and respect, and consequences.
Perhaps, it’s not being told no so much as a caution of what will come, and the fact that others have rights, too, not just those wishing to use harmful language. We really must consider more than ourselves when opting into language that carries history. Cussing aside, historically abusive language really is just leveraging that historical abuse for a reaction. There’s no other point to its existence. That history includes who is speaking it and who traditionally spoke and why. A write may think they’re helping. Are they?
Did you know that sensitivity editors exist? They do. I suggest hiring one, if you chose to use certain language to find out more. Also, remember, one person backing you isn’t an entire group. No group is a monolith. Consider your future in writing, if you want to go down that road, and does it feel empowering to those who have had to suffer under it in the past as well as currently?
Sometimes, we get super bogged down in our perspective, forgetting that our lived experience isn’t that of another. It can be unconscious or conscious. Either way, ask yourself the deeper questions. If you have any doubt, don’t use it. Your gut is supplying that necessary warning, to protect yourself and your community (community being family, friends, peers, society).
Anyway, i hope we do our work with consideration for more than ourselves when it matters most. Let’s check out the other author answers and see what words they won’t say. Add your address to my newsletter box, and the hop will arrive each Friday without searching for it. See you next time!
I like the concept of self-censoring, depending on the audience. Writing about the future gives you the freedom and ability to create the moral structure for your character’s language. I find that liberating.
I agree. It’s very liberating in many ways.
This is the third time I’ve heard about an aversion to the word ‘moist.’ Why? What did I miss?
I have no idea, either. It just seems to make folks uncomfortable or grossed out.
Yes, we all have to tread on eggshells these days so as not to offend anybody. We have to write what we think people want to read, but luckily, as yet, nobody has found a way to read our own private thoughts.
Thankful for that!