♦Welcome to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop!♦
Do you believe in true love?
Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.
I’m not sure that my idea of true love will match that of the next person. Absolutely we all share in a similar human culture that agrees on the idea of love, but I have found that the specifics of what it is happens to be more nuanced than your average soap opera. Years ago, this discussion came up in one of my undergraduate classes in writing and literature. My professor tried to get the students to describe love. Most of them were still describing a pretty Polyana view, something sold to us as kids–overly sanitized, because we were in the classroom among professional peers. To discuss the unspoken angles of adoration and sex was taboo. It was adorable to watch twenty-somethings struggle to keep it clean, when they damn well knew better.
I didn’t disagree with them either. My heart hurt a little to think of love as anything but true and pure, and all of that Disney rose glow we like to imagine love is. I had been in relationships with just that in mind, although I had been disappointed each time. To this day, I still have not met a man who has made wedding bells ring, or inspired me to remain. My sense was they were interested in the physical aspects of love, without the love or even a bit of interest in me as a person. Rather, they were focused on their own needs, not letting it occur to them that taking should be accompanied by giving in fair amounts. (Before anyone decides to flood the comments with women do this, too. I’ll remind you that I am speaking about the men I have dated. I have not dated women. So, including them would be beyond that experience I’m highlighting, and fiction.)
Regardless of how I have been treated, and there was sunlight in each of those storms, to this day, I do believe there is a thing called love. I believe there is such a thing as true love. What I don’t believe is the fairy tale that’s ingrained in us by our culture. For some, sure. It can happen that way. it’s a beautiful thing to witness. A good number of us will never find a lasting love that even comes close to that ideal, however. Many will remain alone their whole lives. It’s math: probability.
In speaking of this with a friend one time, I ignited a firestorm from him. He eventually said: I have to believe there’s a love for everyone, because I want that for myself. The memory is still quite clear in my mind. It marks when I realized I had turned a corner. The conditioning had finally let go, but how could it not in the wake of so much proof otherwise.
But, yes. I do believe in true love. I just don’t believe it looks the same for everyone, or that it’s a fairy tale happy ending for everyone who encounters it. True love can be as painful as it is wonderful. It will be messy from time to time, if not all the time.
Let’s hop on over and check out what the other authors have to say…