♦Welcome to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop!♦
How do you see yourself versus how you think other people see you?
Welcome back to another edition of the Open Book Blog Hop! If you’re new to the series, the authors included are grateful for your reads and appreciate, even more so, when you share our writings with your friends. If you’re new to the series, welcome aboard. The authors engage and impress weekly. Be prepared to become a regular reader.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve thought about the person I wish to be, and how I would like to be perceived by others. There is no control over the way we are perceived by others, because people will make up their own minds, regardless of who you are. That is something I struggled with far more than with who I was. I’ve been true to myself, and always kept a firm grip on honesty and integrity. It matters. Thus, I know who I am: a loving human being, who expects honesty and integrity in return, and knows that others are capable, but often choose to be dishonest. I’m a daughter, sister, mother, friend. I’m a dog lover, a photographer, a bit of a comedian. I’m a progressive liberal agnostic. An artist. A writer. A cook/baker. I’m a fan girl and a geek. I’m a hardworking professional with years of education. But let’s explore a little deeper than that…
My mantra has always been: Truth will out. Meaning, that the truth will always rise to the surface. The truth has never failed me, and I am generally patient, so I can wait for her to reveal herself. Others have tried to smear me for their own ends, but my integrity has always risen above. I also refuse to engage rumors and lies. Let folks talk. Truth will out. I’m also not the woman to use saccharine niceties to gain favor in a crowd.
As you’d guess by my love of honesty and integrity, I have high respect for education and low respect for ignorance. I don’t accept opinions when facts oppose them. In the face of those who refuse to admit their opinions are problematic, I am often unforgiving. My high expectations of others are born of my high expectations of myself. Do what you will, harm none. But. I will verbally hammer folks for (pardon my language) shitty opinions that uphold a social attitude that harms others by maintaining institutionalized isms. I’m not going to be patient with anyone who harms others (directly or indirectly). That’s right, I don’t take any guff.
Honesty and integrity, along with my education, has also made me quite intuitive. I sense things like a psychic, such as when people are lying, when they’re boastful, when they’re dangerous, when they’re genuine. People don’t like that about me. I’m sure it makes them feel bare. It’s unsettling when someone looks through you. However, when you have nothing to be ashamed of, such clear seeing shouldn’t bother you. Right? When people get upset about this skill, it has turned out that they are often sociopaths, sometimes narcissists, sometimes both. Those types of people thrive on anonymity for their modus operandi. Likewise for those who wish to put forward an image that isn’t true, so that there is a disingenuous element to them, and the cognitive dissonance in which they swim can make them feel very uncomfortable as they’re forced to take a long, good look.
I do not see these things as a problem. I wouldn’t continue forward if I did. My focus is improving the world, my small part of it, not sucking what I can off of the world until I die. I’ve always wanted to make a difference, and I’ve always wanted to be a genuine person. Who I am is not a put on. The labels above are descriptive of my facets. Yet, there are other descriptors I don’t use to describe myself, which have been used by others…
The way others see me isn’t lost on me. I’ve had people attempt to paint me as belligerent, argumentative, ignorant, unread, too young, too this and too that. Quite often, I am dismissed because of how young I look. My education is poo-pooed by those who cannot reconcile that I’m not twenty, and want to preserve their mask (on the world and themselves). When I don’t fit the narrative people have made up to define me, and stuffing me in their boxes doesn’t stick, I’m certainly not the belligerent or argumentative one.
Oddly enough, since having my daughter, the attitude that I’m a foolish girl has ebbed. I didn’t realize that women needed to have children in order to be seen as smart. Yet, doesn’t that sort of connect up all the things that women keep saying about the world in which they live? How they’re expected to marry and have children, make homes, not careers (maybe jobs but not full-fledged careers)? And, if they do become the wife/mother/homemaker, they’re infantilized (even by other women)?
I guess my choice to pursue IVF and the way in which I’ve chronicled my journey as a mother both humanized by revealed my maturity and drive as a person. I can assure you that after putting four of my six-plus books out in publication has not provided that kind of respect. It should have. My educational degrees should have, too. The way I communicate, also should have. But no. I was considered young, foolish, over emotional… All those things used to deny women respect. The fact that I had no problem calling it out added to the pushback: You’re angry. So, seeing me smile and play with my little one, be loving, honest, fun, and full of respect toward her and my parenting has forced others to view me in a different light. Now my passion for where the world is going has a ready face, because before, simply caring about others in general isn’t enough. People expect more selfish reasons, because maybe that’s how they operate, so they look for themselves in others. When they don’t find their self in others, they reject them, maybe even with hate.
But not everyone perceives of me negatively. I have a lot of friends, and my family loves me dearly. Those things I put out into the world were seen by them. They reciprocate. They encourage. And, I am thankful for them. Their love is the energy that keeps me going when I am out saving the world. The haters are just gonna hate this. “)
Let’s hop on over to see how the other authors answered this question…
Stevie Turner says
To live true to yourself is the only way to be.
So many of my rants are here. Women don’t need to marry or have kids to be whole. Neither revealing a little leg nor a little heart means we are asking for attention.
I agree with you on so many levels. I might be a little more patient with people, but that’s a deeply rooted, personal passion of mine.
And you don’t need it, but I think you are fab.
Captain Maiel says
I used to be patient, but it didn’t help. It was the old no win. I cut to the chase now, to save me and them time. LOL
Thank you! I think you are fab, too.
P.J. MacLayne says
I find it interesting that you had a plan for yourself even as a child. I never stopped to consider how others saw me when I was young. Maybe because I was always a bit of an outsider? and liked it that way.
Captain Maiel says
Walking my path has made me quite an outsider–not conforming to roles selected for me has been isolating. I find it interesting, too. I just remember being reflective and conscientious. A lot of older people used to say I was an ‘old soul.’