I’m often asked, “Brig, what’s with that accent?” and “Is that a REAL Scottish word?” or “Are you speaking a foreign language, mate?”
Well, the real answer is somewhat more complicated than yes. You see….in order to create a believable character such as one who is from some indeterminate period of past time, holds some pseudo, quasi-military rank and title, and holds fake hereditary peerage….well, I had no other choice but to invent my own lingo. Crazy? A complete waste of time? Mildly amusing at best? Well….as the ficticious old Joad Cressbeckler character once said, famously: “Now, I’ve hung a man or two in my time, but that don’t make me a judge, so I don’t pass judgement on no-a-body, like-a these here Ay-rabs.” Eh-hem.
So, in other words: your call, Sparky.
Whilst you ponder that, in the interim, Himself is pleased to present this short feature called:
“SPEAK LIKE THE BRIG!” – Part 1 of 27.4
A Brief List of Amusing and Largely Made-the-Hell Up Words for You to Liberally Inject in Your Conversations with Dullards.
“That rumshot door handle is loose again; ye have tae jiggle it, otherwise it won’t work.”
Crankshafted –adj. Meaning: Played for a fool; taken advantage of, especially by someone to whom one is superior in social stature.
“Your Honour, it was not MY fault.–that Gypsy crankshafted me into exposing myself in public!”
Bejaked –adj, Meaning: Cursed with an evil, malignant spell. Likely by a Gypsy.
“Give me that whisky, young man! That bottle has a curious look to it. It could be bejaked. Best I hold on to it, for safe keeping!”
Lupemock –n. Meaning: The currency of foreigners.
“When you go abroad for holiday, be sure to trade in your greenbacks for lupemocks at the airport. If you wait ’till you get off the plane, gypsies will rob you.”
Ginstupid –adj. Meaning: Pissed on gin, obviously, ya daft fink.
“Archibald gets ginstupid after one g-n-t; best hide the tonic from his sorry arse,”
Thornburn — n. Meaning: Your boss or foreperson. No matter where ye work, or what you do. Your manager’s name is always Thornburn.
“That auld bastard Thornburn is makin’ us work till 2:30 today. On New Year’s Eve! The fat arse!”
Flint Mine –n. Meaning: Your work site and place of employment. No matter where you toil at yer labours, yer in the bloody flintmine, boyo.
“That jive-arse movie was a total waste of my damned time. I’m going to see who the Thornburn here is at this movie house and demand a refund.”Sad Saddled –adj. Meaning: Married.
Meh–more to come. I can’t think of them all right now. Too many. Why does no one record me when I speak this stuff, dammit? You rumshot lot really take notes, and get wised up some. Ya finks. (Keep an eye on them gypsies, it’s about that time of year again.)
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